May 22, 2017

Random thoughts about growing up

It's funny reading an old bucket list and realizing "Wow! I've written a lot of silly items, like getting married underwater. Believe it or not, I was serious when I wrote this. But thinking of it now, who's gonna marry me underwater? 😹

I realized it's amazing how life can turn out differently from what you expected it to be. I would never think I could travel to a number of countries in South East Asia, the Middle East and Europe.  I would never imagine that some priorities could change. And those "things" you wished before are no longer that important now.

It is true that as you grow up, your priorities in life continue to change. Yes, there might be some that are constant but, we experience changes that will change our way of thinking, our perspective and our whole life ahead.

Looking back, I realized that when I was younger, I was more focused on things and places I feel I needed to buy or see. I need this camera badly. I need to have these fancy clothes, shoes, and makeup. I need to go to this place before I die, yadda yada. After some years in adulthood, I feel like they're not really something that matters in the end. Yes, it could make me happy for some period of time. But this won't give me real fulfillment and satisfaction. It's what you make of it. It's what you learn from those experiences.

Why am I writing this?

One, I just turned 29. I feel so old. I feel like the world is getting so much ahead of me. I feel like I'm not so happy with my career and I got to do something about it.

Two, I need a release. We all do. Either tell a friend, partner or someone you are comfortable sharing with. For me, I prefer to write it down so I can also evaluate myself at the same time.

Growing up isn't easy, truth! No one was given a manual on how to live their lives. It's all unique for each of us. We all have to figure out what is appropriate and significant for us. We have no clue what other person is going through. We can't judge why she did this and not the other. We can't demand anyone to do this because it's how we did it. We can only share and be there for them. Let them experience, decide, learn and grow up.

Like flowers, we can never force people to bloom. But when they do, it's gonna be beautiful.