Sep 26, 2017

Then and Now

A month ago I was in Malaysia, battling with the feeling of being exhausted, tired and self-defeated. Like a volunteered prisoner desiring to fly high and free herself from the invisible cell made by her own mind. A rat in a wheel running faster and faster but never going anywhere. Yes, a Filipino working abroad like myself can also feel that despite the fact that we seem happy on our Facebook photos, and that we're earning better than when we were in the Philippines.

Many OFWs are alone in their battles of loneliness. I had my same share of experiences and I hope to never feel it again. I remember telling myself not to expect anyone to save me, that I am my own heroine. I self talk a lot yes. 

Photo by Japhetonthego

I also like observing people. I look at those around me.  How they have the same problems, thoughts, and feelings. They want to quit so bad but they just can't because of the responsibilities on their shoulders. Sometimes, I think I'm lucky, I don't have much to think about but myself and my self issues. But at times I feel mad about the fact that people complain a lot but are OK with the situation they are in. They don't wanna push themselves to better the only life they have. But maybe I'm wrong. Maybe it's too risky for others to quit. I don't really know. 

I quit my job in Malaysia a month ago though I should have done it earlier. It's my first job abroad and it opened my eyes to a lot of things. 

Malaysia has helped me improved a lot. I became a better version of myself. It gave me a different perspective in approaching life. I met a lot of people from different walks of life. My network expanded. I learned to be aware of my preferences, what I want in life, what I truly value. 

There's good and bad in every situation. I could choose to stay in Malaysia. There's nothing wrong with staying in the situation you are in right now. It's a matter of creativity I guess. How you could make something out of your boring routine, how you can turn beauty from pain. I have friends who are in their job for 4-5 years. I honestly admire those who can manage to stay in their jobs for 5-10-20 years. They have probably learned so much about perseverance and sacrifice. It's different for all of us of course, but perhaps we can work together to change our circumstances. 

I like what Seth Godin writes in his blog, "In the long run, we can work to change the circumstances. We can start today, right now. We must. It's the only way to make perfect better." 

Now, I just moved and is starting a new life here in Oslo, Norway, the happiest place on earth according to BBC. It's a totally different life here. And I'm looking forward to new challenges that is already happening. Oh and, if you're in Oslo, pretty please let me know.